Officially Started: 40 Day Mini Challenge: Nervous System Reset

I deleted the pages on this blog because it was basically 7 different "day one" posts. Now I am back on day 9 of trying to get things back on track. I am committed and focused and taking everything super super slowly.

Sad as it may seem, I can't handle too many things right now. As a caregiver, mid-life returning student, a person living in the current crazy world, I really need things to be simple and easy. The more I work on myself, the more I realize I just want and need peace during this phase of my life.

I am going to use the next 40 days until the first week of November is over, as a true reset. A reset on all levels.

I was vegan for 23+ years and I have started to eat local animal products in moderation. (More in another post on way and I am not sure I will do this long term-though I might). I decided to start eating in a calorie deficit. I decided that walking is the new running, and told myself that I would focus on a few things.

stock photo of an autumn tree lined street

Forty Day Fall Focus

Theme: Wellness, Rest, Resetting and Weight Loss

1. Practicing sleep hygiene. I am taking this very slowly. I am just getting into bed by 10:15 and watching tv, youtube, or reading. Or all of the above.
2. Drink 80+ ounces of water per day. I have a cup that's 40 ounces. Times 2. BAM.
3. Calorie deficit. First two weeks I am just tracking it all down. 
4. Reading fiction. I always read nonfiction, and classics and literary fiction are my loves, but I have not been making the time/having the space to read.
5. Clean and declutter small sections of my house one at a time.

Goals

1. Weight loss. I do need to start shifting some of the weight I've gained while caregiving. I am still caregiving and it is taking everything out of me. I miss being fit. I miss loving the clothes I wore. 
2. Sleep better. Sleep at all. 
3. Lower my resting heart rate.
4. Exercise again without thinking it has to leave me wiped out and sweaty. Just start the challenge with movement and strength. 

The Sad Truth (but truth nonetheless)

I am sad that I've gained 60 + pounds in 4 years. I am sad to be a caregiver in secret. I am sad to be mid-life and feel I don't have my shit together because so much of my life is dedicated to caring for people. 

stock photo: healthy meal prep

The Hope and Promise

The truth is that no matter what I am grateful to have the opportunity to turn it around. I'm glad that I got my bloodwork and saw how terrible things had become and how being moderately sedentary (even after decades of fitness), and eating junk food (even with lots of good meals between) was rapidly deteriorating my health. 

I feel that I have time. THIS time is time. I can take slow, steady steps forward and that will be great. If I had only done that a year ago where would I be now? That's how I am thinking moving forward.

I am dedicated to those I care for to carve out a way to make this happen. For them. For me. Because they deserve it, because I deserve it. 

I can't do anything about the time that has gone by, the pounds that have been gained, but I can start now to move forward.

I am posting this here because I wish that I could find a blog or channel that wasn't trying to sell me something or brag and boast. Just a raw, honest take on what it is really like to be a forgotten caregiver in mid-life struggling to figure it all out while people's lives hang in the balance.

Please come back if you think you can find inspiration here. I would love it. 

We can do this. One hour at a time.