One Month Reset Check In: Fat Loss, Water, Sleep

 

stock photo: no I don't have a cat, but want one ;)

Now that a huge project I was working on is done, I can start posting daily!!!! 

Perhaps no one cares about that, but it will help to keep me most consistent. I want to be vulnerable in this space in hopes it can help even one person feel less alone. 

I am going to continue to work on this site and I want one page where I house all of my stats and figures (data nerd!), but until I make that page, let me say here that 4 weeks into this "program" I have made for myself, I am 15 pounds down and am starting to work on rest at night.

What's been working

It's helped to stop talking to people who are negative on the phone. This may seem unrelated, but research shows that how we feel determines how we are. While my life is so stressful and quite lonely, I have been trading the thought that I'm "chatting with a friend" as a cover for "I'm just working on feeling miserable". I stopped taking calls and I started listening to audiobooks, music, or just nothing. Those fleeting moments where I was "connecting" to someone else's bad days, and being a dumping ground for their drama, I used to transform into space and time for my healing. 

Accepted that this isn't about weight loss, it's about healing

I'm feeling broken inside. Disconnected from my soul's purpose. Afraid my loves one could die any day now. Alone. Lonely. Scared.

It's the reason my central nervous system is always fired up and the low level of stress that hums in the background of my mind and body has contributed so well to inflammation, gut issues, sleep issues and hormonal imbalances. 

Literally accepting the circumstances of my life has been one of the foundational moving things for me. 

Acceptance in Action...

If I want to exercise this morning by walking on the treadmill for 45 minutes while watching a podcast on vegan nutrition, but a medical appt I forgot about is suddenly remembered, the old me would literally internally berate myself for forgetting, tell myself, "It doesn't even make sense to try to take care of yourself", etc. It was all 100% negative and horrible.

Fast forward to now... still a work in progress, but I am reminding myself that, "This is just the way it is right now and you're doing your damn best". Something about that sentence just hankers down into my soul and I feel better. I'm not happy that I can't workout, but I will find 15 minutes at the end of the day to watch YouTube and walk.

Another example

A few years ago I was in the best shape of my life. 4 years and nearly 70 gained pounds later, perimenopause entered the chat alongside daily extreme stress.... um.... Dorothy we are not in Kansas anymore.

I spent so much time thinking I needed to train and live like my old self. My true self. When I stopped and looked at my body in the mirror I cried. I thought, "What have I let happen to myself?"

Either way.... I can accept that my body is beautiful because I neglected it so much... I neglected me so much.  But, if I'm lucky enough I can turn it all around. That means I can't do the workouts I once did. 

I am not comfortable going into the gym, neither do I have the time for the commute- and that's okay.

As I approach November I have serious plans to focus on feeling better. This alone will increase my ability to do the things I need to do to take care of myself. 

This isn't a matter of lack of knowledge for any of us. 

It's about something different. 

Something more internal and psychological. 

This is where I am doing my work. Internally. Setting a timer on 60 minutes and writing how I am feeling about my health, my body, my life, my soul. 

Join me. You are not alone.