I Actually CAN'T Do Everything

Yep. Burnout sucks, but true burnout means my ability to multi-task is severed. Forcing myself to push through only leads to eating snacks at night and feeling sorry for myself.

Every time I think I have a "simple" plan figured out, I realize I need to simplify it even more. I"m talking a turtle's pace. 

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The hardest part of it all recently has been admitting just how difficult the most basic and simple tasks seem to be. Let me name them:

1. Checking the mail everyday
2. Organizing/ tidying my space
3. Doing more than ONE basic or major tasks per day
4. Returning phone calls
5. Making important phone calls
6. Scheduling necessary appointments

The list goes on, but you get the point.

How is it that I am really figuring out that weight loss comes much later in this process. I have to calm down my mind and body. Restore faith in basic mindful living, and realize that no one else is coming to save or help with it.

This isn't to be pessimistic. Quite the opposite.

Acceptance is the breeding ground for better days ahead. 

Caregiving is mandatory. Perfectly doing it is not.

Exercise and eating well is mandatory for a healthy body and mind. Perfectly doing it is not.

I've realized I have to slow well down. Like WELL down. If I am going to be effective at any list of tasks, I have to stop planning 10 things in a day's time and plan one.

It feels like I am not getting anything done, but one per day is better than none per week because I've burned myself out much more quickly than the average person. 

So, it's Saturday morning. I have slept about 7 hours after only sleep 5 for the past two nights. 

I've made a bowl of oatmeal + flax + cauliflower + strawberries & a protein shake.

I've journaled, meditated, said a prayer, and did a few pages of reading on psychology.

My plan is to walk on my treadmill and I won't plan anything else until I can successfully do that. 

Things I need to accept:

1. It's hard for me to do more than one thing at a time
2. I need a lot of time in the morning to enter the day
3. I need better sleeping hygiene habits (goal for next week)
4. This is hard and it sucks and I feel alone- but I can and will survive it
5. No one is coming to save me
6. I get to choose how I go through the rest of the month, it doesn't have to just happen to me.
7. Something will always be better than nothing
8. Perfect is the enemy of done

Alright... if you're stuck... exhausted... burned out.... feeling lost... I FEEL you.

No one is coming to save your situation (maybe they are, but I"m talking to those in a similar position to me). 

So, just for today...

• drink a cup of water right now, 
• do 5 minutes of movement (set a timer), 
• clean one area or start a load of laundry, 
• take a deep breath.

We can do this. One hour a time today.