June Challenge: Starting Slowly- My Plan (Diet and Exercise Plan)

I'd love to do 30 days of a plan, but I'm sick of failing so I am keeping it simple.

This June I have a small window of reprieve from daily caregiving tasks and graduate school work, and my house is a mess, my papers are all out of order, and I'm an all around out-of-sync mess.

The reason I am typing this out here (when writing in my $2 notebook is easier for me), is because I hope it inspires someone else to slowly add even one thing to help them manage their health and wellbeing while caregiving or stressed. 

This one month (or really 21 days) is meant to be a kickstart for me. Just a jumping off point to get started. 

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Simply by starting, I am 1/2 way there. I've spent the last few years trying to go back and live as my previous self. Just get going. Do what I used to do, the way I used to do it. Well, that doesn't work.

My central nervous system is FRIED and I can't maintain any of it. It lasts for 2 weeks then I burn out and can't do anything.

This time around I am going to start sooooooo slowly that I simply can't fail.

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Diet:

Long term vegan. In today's time it seems like leaving veganism is the answer for weight loss and as an ethical vegan, I won't lie and say that other people haven't made it seem like lean chicken breast is the answer to my soft, hormonally changing body. I will be eating a plant-based vegan diet for this challenge, but it's time I get rid of all the processed foods I continue to eat. 

Late night snacking and tv watching have become a comfort in a way that I didn't know would build a horrible set of habits.

I'm not a fan of doing cleanses, or anything when you are NOT already healthy as a means of weight loss, but I do need to limit what foods I will eat for this reset so that my tastebuds can stop being excited by every single treat I come across.

I've eaten entirely too much sugar, processed food, vegan cheese, desserts, etc. So this challenge is a way to return to whole plant foods and water.

I've been grocery shopping and spending $100s of dollars and stocking my fridge like the plague is coming and I won't be able to leave the house. It's beyond ridiculous. 

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Food and Meal Plan:

1. Beans. I need to eat them more. At my healthiest, they were 1/2 of my diet! 
2. Potatoes. Satiating. Satisfying. Cheap and delicious. Need I say more. 
3. Veggies. All kinds. I have a local farm pickup and will eat seasonal veggies mainly in the form of soups or air fryed.
4. Fava bean tofu. Expensive and I have to share the blocks with my daughter so about 1/2 a block (32 g protein)- 3 times per week.
5. Soy Tofu. I think I may hold soy this challenge. So many people chant the praises of soy (for good reason), but there is truth that soy does affect some people and I have been dealing with bloating and stomach issues more when I eat it. Maybe I could eat less at a time and see, but I will test it out and finish up my tempeh and tofu and then not buy more for this challenge. It's also very high and fat and I will be watching some fat as I go through.
6. Protein powder. I am on a mission to use up things I have in my house without running to buy anymore. I have some chocolate, vanilla, another flavor I don't really enjoy, but will make shakes once per day.

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Counting Calories

1. Not a fan, but will try it. I have been eating way too much, so it feels like a data collection method I can use to start getting on track. I used a TDEE calculator and because I will be cutting my strenuous cardio out for this challenge (leaving maybe one day or two days per week maximum).
2. I have the paid version of the Cronometer app, but when it expires I may try a simpler app like Lose It. I am not using all of the information on the Cronometer app honestly and it isn't aesthetically pleasing. Maybe I'll change my mind.

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Exercise

1. Home based workouts. My fantasy of returning to the gym like I used to has died for now. Just the thought of finding workout clothes that fit and I am comfortable in to go to the gym feels like a step too far for me right now. Rather than beating myself up about this, I'm embracing that I have a small home gym to use. 
2. I'm not listening to anyone who tells me, "People in the gym are focused on themselves and won't look at you or care". Well, I still won't go. I'm too self-conscious and that's enough of a reason. Period. 
3. Kettlebells, Flat facing dumbbells, Mat, Bands, Leg bands, Treadmill, Stationary bike, 18" step. 
   
4. Fitness streaming services. I have three, but won't really use them for this challenge. It can seem simple to just log in and press play, but in all honesty they push me wayyyy too hard. I can do most of them modified (with 60+ extra pounds on my body), but they always leave me so hungry. It feels defeating. Seems counterintuitive, but I am going to focus on strength training, walking slowly on the treadmill (2.5 mph), and biking LISS (low intensity steady state) for this 21 day challenge.

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Deep Rest, Relaxation, Emotional Self-Care

I don't know how to relax anymore. I don't know what it means to truly rest anymore. I have had to accept this. My brain is overstimulated and in a panic state due to caregiving most of the time. I am working on it, but for now I will just use guided meditations to bring rest and calm to my system.

I'm repeating, "I am safe" and taking 3 deep breaths all throughout the day as well.

As tempting as it is to add "4 bubble baths a week" to this self-care section, I will surely fail at that when life hits me or I run out of steam for the day at 4:15 pm and can barely make dinner and shower. Instead, I am building "Do Nothing" time blocks into the day.

1. Do Nothing for 5-20.
1. Stare out the window
2. Read a book
3. Doodle on paper or my iPad
4. Listen to a meditation or nature sounds
5. Writing

In Conclusion

This challenge (unlike challenges I did when I was fit and within a healthy body fat range) is meant to be a mental and physical kickstart. I've lost confidence in myself and I'd like it back.

I am eager to prove to myself that I have what it takes to succeed at this and to take care of myself the way I've taken care of everyone else.

Pushing myself isn't the way to go anymore. For at least this phase of my life, I need to be gentle and kind. This challenge would have been great as a video series, but my caregiving is a secret due to family members not sharing their condition with others and this isolation has been extremely hard to deal with- hence this blog.

I'm hurting and it's soooo difficult, I thought that creating this space could possibly be helpful to someone else. I don't need another "thing" to do, but if even one person finds motivation here, it's worth all the time and effort.

I will make a post each day talking about each one of the areas I wrote about above and if you don't know where to start, just follow along here. Anything is better than nothing.

We can do this. One deep breath at a time.